Category Archives: Best Submissive Experiences
This post has been a long time coming, but recent dreams have made it a necessity, so I can explore my thoughts on this subject.
First, so we’re all on the same page – let me do a bit of explaining. Mistress and I had been doing a little bit of reading over on Sugarbutch. Ohhhh that blog gets me in trouble. We were reading a few of the posts Sinclair writes about his daddy/girl experiences, and Mistress let it slip that she liked it. We didn’t really discuss it much more than that, but I’m pretty sure we both remember the conversation.
Then, last night, I had a dream. One of those fantastically vivid dreams. I dreamed that Mistress was fucking me hard. In a moment of childishness, I reached up, tugging on her neck and pouting a bit, and said “fuck me harder, daddy!” The dream continued and these tiny moments happened again and again. Once, as she kissed me softly, I pulled back for a moment, whispering a tiny “thank you, daddy” into her mouth. Again, as we were teasing each other in a casual foreplay. She flicked my clit just once, and a tiny “daddy” came out as a soft moan. And finally, perhaps my favorite moment of all, when we were snuggled after sex just talking softly before we fell asleep, I absentmindedly whispered “I love you daddy”, and she smiled.
When I woke up this morning, I realized that I really like all this “daddy” talk. I texted Mistress about it this afternoon, and she had just as favorable a reaction as I had. But it just makes sense. She’s my protector and always makes sure I’m happy, and she spoils me. I’m her little one, her baby. So if the occasional “daddy” slipped out during sex, I don’t think I’d be too upset. In fact, I’d probably find it incredibly sexy.
But anyway. A part of me thinks I’m just missing Mistress a lot today. It’s okay though. Four more days until I can fall asleep in her arms again.
My parting thought to you – pillow talk from what I think would be Mistress’ perspective:
All the aftercare pillowtalk when her eyes sparkle and she is flushed, glowing. All that light in her laugh and feather-soft touches make me feel easier, like I make sense. I’ve said it before but she is very easy to love, easy to spend time with, easy to adore, easy to shower with affection.
I’m so excited! Next weekend is the first time Mistress and I will be able to spend more than just a couple hours together since May. In fact, I’ll be able to spend two whole nights in her bed! Soooo excited! We have a massive wishlist of things we want to try this schoolyear but this coming weekend is particularly special for a couple reasons:
- Mistress and I have picked out and purchased a strap-on. Not just any strap-on either, but one that’ll satisfy my cravings for deeeeeeepp penetration. We’ll (hopefully) be breaking it in and practicing, so I’m extremely excited for all aspects of that. I don’t know how much of it we’ll get to next weekend but I definitely want to practice a bit before the big trip in a month.
- I own a set of nipple clamps, but next weekend will be the first time that Mistress will get a chance to use them on me herself instead of instructing me from afar.
- The same goes for my anal plug. We tried to use it once this summer but there just wasn’t enough time or space to do it without actually hurting me.
- The snuggling. Ohhmygoodness the snuggling. I’m Mistress’ little cuddle whore and I think I’m more excited about falling asleep in her arms or her in mine than anything else. It’s something that I’ve missed so much this summer. So much so that I’ve gotten out of work some days and texted her, saying “lets snuggle tonight”. She’ll text back agreeing, and then I’ll head home, snuggling under the blankets and cuddling my pillow and her shirt tightly against me.
- Making it all about her. This summer has been so much about me, in terms of the sex, unfortunately. Next weekend, Mistress will be tired from her activities during the day, and I fully intend to snuggle on the couch or something while she’s watching tv and just suck on her nipples, since she loves that so much.
I’m really excited, if you couldn’t tell, and I’m sure I’ll have a lot to report!
When Mistress and I are apart, we’re typically constantly in contact with each other if we’re not at work or otherwise engaged. It’s really comforting, because the distance has been a little hard on me this summer. Not only have I missed her company and her smile and the way her eyes light up when she talks about things, I’ve missed that in-person submission.
Lately, that desire to submit has translated into text-scenes. The first time it happened, I sent her a text that said something to the effect of “*curled up at your feet, sighing with contentment, watching you work*” and it kinda just flowed from there but lately they’ve expanded into full-on scenes, and I love it.
For example, late last night, we had one of these text-submission scenes. My contribution is in bold and hers is in plain text.
*kneeling between your feet, hands behind my back, head bowed, I whisper, “Mistress, may I touch you?”
*looks over with a cocked eyebrow, “excuse me?*
*clearing my throat and speaking a little louder, “Mistress, may I please have permission to touch you?”*
*Leaning back, turning back to my computer, “Have you earned it?”*
*bowing my head further, knowing the answer, I respond “no, Mistress”.*
*”That’s right. So either earn it, or stay in your place”*
*standing quietly, I place a nipple clamp on each nipple, wrapping the chain around my wrists, and walk over to your bathroom, cleaning it spotlessly*
*looking up with a smirk, “well done”*
*kneeling before you again, nipple clamps still in place, I ask permission to touch you again.*
“still looking a tad unimpressed, “I suppose”*
*unwrapping the chain from my wrists, I slip it around your legs, effectively chaining myself to you. I kiss each of your feet once, and begin the slow crawl up your legs, wincing each time the chain catches on the couch*
*shifts my legs here and there, just to be mean*
*as I get close to the top of your thighs, the chain catches behind your knees, and won’t move. I reach to fix it and you stop me, instructing me to leave it as it is. I place a kiss between your thighs, then resuming present, my nipples pulled taut thanks to the chain that’s caught, I ask permission to touch your pussy*
*Pulling the chain a little more, I grant you permission*
*I spread your legs gently, effectively pulling the chain tighter. I slide down and gently run my tongue along your slit, dipping in and flicking your clit lightly. Every time I pull up, the chain pulls. However, in an effort to please Mistress, I don’t make a sound*
*I relax, letting you work*
*I lick and flick your clit with my tongue, sliding two fingers inside your pussy, starting a gentle rhythm. The more the chain pulls, the hornier I get, and the faster the rhythm of fucking you gets*
*encouraging you, I start to ride your fingers*
*I’m fucking you as fast and as deep as I can, as I take your clit into my mouth and toy with it using my tongue. Then I casually slide one finger in your ass, twisting gently as I keep fucking you*
*I buck a little harder, keeping up with your face*
*flicking your clit faster and faster, I coax you closer to orgasm, as I fuck you as fast as my fingers will go*
*I orgasm, arching my back and pushing into you*
*whimpering a little, I suck your clit into my mouth and hold it there as you come*
*smiling softly, I look up at you, your cum on my lips, hoping you’ll grant me a reward*
*I pet your hair gently, kissing you softly. “Again, you little whore”*
*smiling with pleasure, I sink back between your legs, starting all over again*
*I hold your head and tug your hair here and there*
*moaning as you pull, I keep working your clit, coaxing you back to the edge again. I fuck you gently this time, penetrating slowly and deeply, pulling out even slower. My chain catches on the couch, pulling my nipples hard, and my cry of pain gets muffled by your pussy, turning it into a hum against your clit*
*recognizing that little hum, I spread my legs a little more, pulling the chain tighter*
*I fight to keep from slipping into subspace as I continue flicking your clit and slowly increasing the speed at which I’m fucking your pussy*
*I wrap my legs around you, pushing you closer to the brink, testing you a little*
*Feeling my nipples being simultaneously stretched tight and pressed against you, I fight so hard to keep from slipping into subspace, my moans of pain actually helping me stimulate your clit. I continue fucking you harder, as I trace my tongue along your slit and rim your ass gently.*
*I pull your hair tight, matching the pressure on your nipples*
*slipping into subspace, I manage to keep flicking your clit, the action being almost natural now*
*I pull away, holding you in subspace, pulling tighter on your clamps*
*crumpling against you, I slip deeper, the clamps being pulled tighter, succumbing to the feelings, trusting you to keep me safe*
*pulling your head back, I start to kiss your neck, then bite hard, pushing you*
*deep in subspace, all I can do is beg for more. The words finally form, and I whisper softly, “more…pain”*
*pulling your chain again, I keep your head held back and start nibbling your neck and lips*
*starting to slip out of subspace, I moan exquisitely, moving back to present, nipples pulled taut, awaiting your instructions*
*”fuck yourself, whore.”*
*obeying, I spread my legs wide, my nipples still chained to your knees, and fuck myself. Already near orgasm, I fight off two, maybe three orgasms, before I gain control enough to speak and request permission to come*
*”ha, no, this is too fun to watch”*
*obeying still, I spread my legs wider, fucking myself deeply as if I were allowed to orgasm, and I start to rock against my hand, moaning and obviously dripping wet. I continue to fight off orgasm after orgasm, my eyes averted just below yours*
*showing you my breasts, “do you want them, whore? Work for it.”*
*launching harder into fucking, I can’t stand it a moment longer. I’ve fought off a couple dozen orgasms and I cry out, crumpling at your feet, nipples still chained to your knees, as I succumb to the biggest orgasm to date.*
*pats your head, “well done little one”*
*whispering a quiet “thank you Mistress”, I lay quietly at your feet, awaiting your next command.*
*”relax dear, join me”, patting the couch*
*crawling onto the couch and into your lap, I promptly fall asleep, almost purring as I snuggle against you”*
*leans down, kissing your head and petting you*
Over these past few scenes, I’ve discovered a few things.
- Mistress casually mentioned about a week ago that she likes her ankles and the inside of her wrists kissed. I’ve included variations of that into the text-scenes to gauge what she likes about it. I’m really excited to include it in our upcoming adventures next weekend (more on that in a later post). I want to try those almost-sucking kisses she places on my hand on the inside of her wrists and I want to try tonguing her ankles lightly, hitting those typically-ticklish spots before I kiss them.
- I really like an almost pet-like version of submission. It’s more than just handing over the control over my body. I really like the idea of being curled up at Mistress’ feet and similar things. I like not thinking and just submitting to the commands Mistress gives, and as much as I whine, I love the training. I’ve fallen in love with tuna salad, started to lose weight, and expanded my general horizons through Mistress’ training.
- I like that while I have a strict set of rules for everyday use, Mistress entrusts me with the responsibility of following, expecting that she shouldn’t have to ask me to follow them. The only time she actually points out my negligence in following them is in the bedroom (where she’s generally more dominant to begin with) or when I’m being really insubordinate for whatever reason.
- I would be perfectly content to (with permission) pull Mistress onto my lap and gently tease/suck her nipples until she asked me to stop. I really like the way her nipples fill the hole where my lips make an “o”.
Well today was a bit crazy. Mistress said no. I begged and begged and begged and she said no. I was shocked! Haha.
But it actually turned out to be a good thing. We had some good conversation. We took a couple photos that I’ve been wanting to take. We snuggled a bit and tried to enjoy the hot weather. And most importantly, Mistress taught me a lesson. At the end of the day, she’s in charge. I’ve been forgetting my place a lot lately, and Mistress helped me see that.
But at the same time, we did a bit of learning too. Mistress showed me how all the energy flows to the point in her body that she’s concentrating on when she meditates. I got to show Mistress a couple things too.
I definitely think I prefer days like today. Soft. Quiet. Cuddly. I like when Mistress kisses my forehead and my hands 🙂
And don’t tell Mistress, but I wish I would have walked with her today.
Well. Yesterday was a rather interesting day. I managed to get punished twice within a two-hour timespan but I also made significant progress on my training as well. Not sure if I’d call that a successful day or not.
Mistress and I engaged in O/our usual tomfoolery and I managed to hold off orgasm 18 times (really excited)! Mistress also gave me the fastest orgasm of my life, after all that holding off, she made me orgasm in under five seconds (hard, fast, and rough). It was a scary but particularly delicious orgasm.
I’m getting better at kissing Mistress back, as she pointed out that I used to not do so. I think that my mind just usually melts when she’s kissing me and I have to fight to stay out of my subconscious so that I can kiss her back.
During sex today, Mistress and I’s lips tangled in this almost kiss. She would whisper words into my mouth, reminding me I’m her little whore, and I’d whisper back my promises not to orgasm. I actually realllyyyyy liked this. A lot.
I also went out to dinner with a [lesbian] couple I know last night and actually got a lot of sound advice in terms of Mistress/I’s relationship. I wanted to detail it out here so I have a record of it for future use.
- Don’t get too deep in the BDSM. W/we’re new at it and it’s important to ensure that W/we’re still maintaining O/our love for each other. Don’t turn the BDSM on 24/7 unless W/we’re both in a mood.
- Don’t forget about that vanilla sex. Sometimes it’s okay to have snuggle time and cute cuddly sex.
- Don’t let the positions you hold dominate your love for one another. Sometimes a dominant can forget to show their love to their sub. Don’t slip into that.Don’t get too caught up on sex. Sex is great, but do silly stuff too.
- It’s all in the little things. Sure, I don’t see Mistress all the time but it’s still okay to enjoy the little things like those good morning texts.
I’ll post the rest of it when I remember.
So Mistress used “heel” for the first time yesterday. Pardon me for sounding like a sorority girl, but ohmygod it was perfect. We were walking down the sidewalk and she said something that provoked me, and I stopped walking. She turned around, and looking at me, simply said “heel”. It was so simple, so subtle, that it was perfect. I obeyed, walking the regulatory one pace behind, until she offered me her arm and indicated that I could walk next to her again.
As the day progressed, one more simple d/s moment slipped into our afternoon. As Mistress was engaging in her usual tease/denial activities, she progressed to actual sex. I promised that I wouldn’t orgasm until she allowed it, and she looked back at me smiling, knowing I’d obey. she coaxed me to the edge of orgasm and I backed myself off. She coaxed again and I backed down. She coaxed once more and once more I backed down. Mistress was genuinely pleased that I had backed myself off the edge no less than five times before she allowed me to orgasm.
Yesterday was a mix of interesting and perfect. 🙂
The parts for my collar also arrived in the mail yesterday and I literally cannot WAIT until O/our small and simple collaring ceremony. I’ve been working extremely hard on my Statement of Commitment, as well as the editing of O/our contract and I am truly excited to see them be put to use.
I apologize for the randomness of this post but I had one final thought that I wanted to document. I’ve been thinking about asking Mistress to use Operant Conditioning. There are four things in Pavlovian Conditioning; Unconditioned stimulus (US), Unconditioned Response (UR), Conditioned Stimulus (CS) and Conditioned Response (CR). If Mistress were to correlate a simple act with a sexual one (say licking something off her finger correlated to a clitoral orgasm or running her fingers through her hair to very hard making out), she could, in effect, train me to be aroused by simple casual acts. The effect, I believe, could be quite delicious.
So last week, Mistress and I engaged in our usual sextivities, with one teensy change.
She teased me so much and so badly, that this dirty talk started to spill out of my mouth. First, it was a teensy “Tell me I’m your little whore”. Then it was a little “Show me I’m your slut, your slave”. Then it progressed to “Show me I’m worthless, that I’m nothing, that I’m just your pet, your toy”.
My mind was racing. Where is all this coming from? All this was coming from the little submissive who’s too nervous to make suggestions in bed, because she hates talking about sex face to face. And here I am, begging Mistress to talk dirty to me, telling her I wouldn’t come unless she demanded for me to do so.
And then it hit me. All this time, I’ve slowly been dancing the line between toying with submission and succumbing to it. I’ve gone from enjoying it during sex to reallyyyy needing it to get off. But not just to get off. I’ve found that completing my chore log is now one of my favorite activities each day. In fact, I’ve grown to miss it on the weekends. And even more than that, I’ve found myself seeking out ways to please Mistress each day, silently hoping she’ll notice, and I’ll get that tiny hint of praise from her.
That’s where talking dirty comes in. When Mistress drove me to the edge of orgasm last week and forced me to stand there, teetering on the edge, while still driving me closer to orgasm, I saw the pleasure on her face. I saw the satisfaction she gained from teasing her little pet. And that’s when I wanted to give her more. Satisfaction wasn’t enough. I wanted her to be able to show me just how much she owned me. And so I asked her to.
And now I hope she does every single time we have sex 🙂
This morning, she texted me the perfect kiss. It started with me on my knees and ended with a breathless almost-kiss, as she whispered the word “whore” into my mouth. Utter bliss.
And that is why my Mistress is the best Mistress in the world.
I’ve been doing some reading on subspace lately, as Mistress has requested that I enter subspace during my daily ritual.
Wikipedia gave me the following definition
Subspace is a metaphor for the state the bottom’s mind and body is in during a deeply involved play scene. Many types of BDSM play invoke strong physical responses. The psychological aspect of BDSM also causes many bottoms to mentally separate themselves from their environment as they process the experience. Deep subspace is often characterized as a state of deep recession and incoherence. Deep subspace may also cause a danger in newer bottoms who are unfamiliar with the experience, and require the dominant to keep a careful watch to ensure the bottom isn’t placing himself or herself in danger.
It also indicated that aftercare, defined as follows, was often needed after an intense experience in subspace
Common aftercare practices may include hugging, kissing, hair-stroking, cuddling, words of praise or gratitude, or general affirmation of an emotional bond between partners.
As I read more and more, I discovered that subspace has levels, triggers, and procedures. I wanted to find a way to discuss my personal subspace with Mistress, so I am writing this post to do that.
I have my own levels
- Light: usually happens for short periods of time, a few minutes, etc. Usually initiated through light or moderate pain. I still feel completely coherent and still have control of all of my motor skills, etc.
- Moderate: usually happens for a bit longer period of time. This is the kind of subspace I slip into during ritual. I lose a little coherence, and slight motor skills, but I feel blissful and happy. I can snap out of it still, but it typically takes a “coming down” period. Because my ritual associates pain on my nipples with entering subspace, I believe that nipple pain will eventually become a trigger for subspace that Mistress could use.
- Deep: I haven’t reached this point. This would be something I would only attempt with Mistress, as it would be important for someone to be watching me to ensure that I don’t slip too far.
As I mentioned, I believe pain on my nipples will become a sure trigger for subspace for me. I’ve been using it in my ritual, and Mistress was able to get me to slip into subspace today just through the application of pain to my nipples.
I’ll have to explore this a little more, and see where it goes.