Category Archives: FemmeInvisibility

Femme Invisibility and My Experiences

While this is a blog about Mistress and I’s experiences, it is also a venue for me to explore my sexuality and who I am.

I want to explore Femme Invisibility. Many of the blogs I follow have written about it lately and it’s time I write about it myself.

When I first came out, S (Mistress, just in casual context) was the first person I one-on-one told. She congratulated me, said that she had known for awhile but didn’t want to push the issue, and told me that I was going to struggle. I questioned her comment, and she said something to the effect of “sweetheart, you’re a flaming fem”.

Fem. Femme. What is that to me? Well, unlike S most days, it means I’m obsessed with fashion. That I fix my hair religiously, wear makeup like it’s my job, love dresses, etc. All that little girl who plays with dolls stuff.

I started doing my reading and I found tons of resources. For those who are interested, they’re listed at the bottom of this post.

I found out four key things. A – I’m not alone. B – I may struggle with issues from the straight community. C – The queer community may not properly understand me. D – I’m into butch girls and well, butch girls are scared of me (on the surface).

Femme Resources/Blogs:


Works Cited:

From SugarButch
From AlphaFemme
From CanIHelpYouSir