Category Archives: Ritual
I’ve been doing some reading on subspace lately, as Mistress has requested that I enter subspace during my daily ritual.
Wikipedia gave me the following definition
Subspace is a metaphor for the state the bottom’s mind and body is in during a deeply involved play scene. Many types of BDSM play invoke strong physical responses. The psychological aspect of BDSM also causes many bottoms to mentally separate themselves from their environment as they process the experience. Deep subspace is often characterized as a state of deep recession and incoherence. Deep subspace may also cause a danger in newer bottoms who are unfamiliar with the experience, and require the dominant to keep a careful watch to ensure the bottom isn’t placing himself or herself in danger.
It also indicated that aftercare, defined as follows, was often needed after an intense experience in subspace
Common aftercare practices may include hugging, kissing, hair-stroking, cuddling, words of praise or gratitude, or general affirmation of an emotional bond between partners.
As I read more and more, I discovered that subspace has levels, triggers, and procedures. I wanted to find a way to discuss my personal subspace with Mistress, so I am writing this post to do that.
I have my own levels
- Light: usually happens for short periods of time, a few minutes, etc. Usually initiated through light or moderate pain. I still feel completely coherent and still have control of all of my motor skills, etc.
- Moderate: usually happens for a bit longer period of time. This is the kind of subspace I slip into during ritual. I lose a little coherence, and slight motor skills, but I feel blissful and happy. I can snap out of it still, but it typically takes a “coming down” period. Because my ritual associates pain on my nipples with entering subspace, I believe that nipple pain will eventually become a trigger for subspace that Mistress could use.
- Deep: I haven’t reached this point. This would be something I would only attempt with Mistress, as it would be important for someone to be watching me to ensure that I don’t slip too far.
As I mentioned, I believe pain on my nipples will become a sure trigger for subspace for me. I’ve been using it in my ritual, and Mistress was able to get me to slip into subspace today just through the application of pain to my nipples.
I’ll have to explore this a little more, and see where it goes.
When Mistress and I first started our d/s relationship, we took time to come up with a bare-bones outline of what W/we’d like to see in the relationship. This framework became O/our expectations, found here. As W/we progressed, new things came up, other parameters were needed.
Next, a set of punishments were created, which are still in place today. Mistress wrote up a list of about 30 punishments and then asked me to rank them from 1-10, in terms of least “painful” to most “painful”. I did as she directed, and then W/we collaborated on enough others to fill out the list. She did reserve some “non-debatable” punishments (outlined at the bottom of the punishments page) that she could use instead of one of the ranked punishments, depending on the severity of my infraction.
As the punishments found their place, W/we decided that daily chores would be appropriate as well. Mistress outlined things she’d like me to do and I was permitted to offer suggestions as well. As W/we worked, W/we found a list of simple chores and tasks that would remind me of my place yet still serve a purpose and not be mindless work. I submit a daily chore log to Mistress before 10pm and outline my work. She then awards me points based on my successes or failures. I must have earned 13 points by the end of a Monday-Friday time period to be granted an orgasm.
As these chores were found to be successful, I still had a desire to serve Mistress. She then created a list of things I could do when I was with her, my favorite being that I get the privilege of servicing her to orgasm each night. She allowed me to express my wishes again, and as a result, we have determined that washing her hair is something I might earn as a special reward. I’m very excited for that reward to happen :]
Today, W/we finally came up with rules. As I told Mistress, I was very excited about this. I believe that she was shocked that the anal plug rule is my favorite. (Secret time: I really like anal. Mistress introduced it into O/our sex life a couple months ago and it is one of my favorite things.)
I’m excited to see how the implementation of the new rules works.
Well, two posts in one day. I’m all out of ideas